- My First Love Essay
- My First Love Personal Narrative Essay
- Homework for me
- Last letter for my first love, essay by mitchien
How right my intuition was.
My First Love Essay
He called when I was around the block to let me know he was at the restaurant waiting for me. From that night forward we began to talk daily for hours on end, driving to one another frequently. We talked about everything and anything. I was touched as he opened up to me about his battle with depression. I shared my experiences too, and we vowed to be there for one another should times ever get tough. As the months went on and we grew closer, we began talking about me coming to stay with him at the new apartment he was moving into, sharing ideas for meals we would make for dinner and other such things.
My First Love Personal Narrative Essay
Looking back, I wish I had known this was a red flag. There he was, my first love, not only back in my life but back with me. We were building a new relationship, different and better, planning adult things together. I remember on Monday, April 7th, , he and I spoke for hours and made plans to spend time together on Wednesday when we both had time after work. How will he find us? I would give anything to go back to that day and just tell him how to get to me. No word the next day, as usual. I spent the whole day nervously planning my outfit, how to word things. I was scared. Though we spoke, sometimes at length, about our mutual experiences with depression, and his behavior had been erratic at the end, he never shared his thoughts on dying or the plan I came to learn that he had been constructing for years.
As the days after his suicide went on, I went in to shut down mode. Unable to breathe, think or function in general, I fell in to the absolute worst depression I had experienced. I called a grief counselor and joined a support group for people that lost a loved one to suicide.
Homework for me
I read up on Bipolar Disorder and tried to do things that eased my pain, such as writing him a letter every single day for a year. I released balloons, I made silly videos, I forced myself to socialize when all I wanted to do was be sucked in to oblivion. Before he passed away, I told him of my dreams of working with mental illness and eventually starting my own non-profit. It felt amazing, but not enough.
Still actively participating in suicide prevention awareness, education, and advocacy, I have hosted my own walks, and recently became the moderator for a peer support group to those bereaved by suicide loss. I plan on continuing grad school to get my Psy.
D with a focus on Bipolar Disorder research with a sub-focus on suicidality and addiction. By actively pursuing these things I am, yes, furthering my career, but I am also helping myself find the light in the perpetual darkness that has followed me since my first love passed. The best way I have found to get out of this place is to be a part of the solution. To keep fighting for my life and millions of others who, like myself, struggle not only with depression but the loss of a loved one to suicide. D do anything second chance m gonna english com.
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